Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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