So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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