I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
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My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize