dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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