i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
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