Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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