My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize