office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
It's shark week go big or go home
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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