i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize