I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take back everything I said about communal showers
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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