By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize