when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize