your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize