I am full of burrito and curiosity
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Shame - the story of my life.
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