I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
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This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
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She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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