i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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