when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have surprise drugs for everyone
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
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