You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize