pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i drank out of a bidet.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
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Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
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Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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