I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize