I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I can't turn off my feet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize