My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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