I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
and you fell through a lawn chair
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize