So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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