I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
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I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
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I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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