You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
now i know why i became what i already was.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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