Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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