FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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