He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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