Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize