At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize