How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Randomize