my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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