guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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