I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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