Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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