New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize