I bet he comes in French.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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