Banned from zoo.
Again?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
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And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
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I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
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