You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I'm passing your future prison.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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