remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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