I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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