Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
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