Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
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I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
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Can you repeat that, but with context?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize