It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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