Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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