I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
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