What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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