Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize