It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
My pussy is not your playground.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
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